Desperate Housewives Season 1 Quotes (Page 12)
Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Andrew: You're the one with the problem, all right. You're the one who's acting she's running for mayor of Stepford.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Season 1 Quotes: 222
Total Desperate Housewives Quotes: 1302









