If I were a pizza you would be my cheese.Joanna
You've confused me with your musky man smell and made me want to throw you down and eat you like a crumpet and I don't even know what a crumpet is.Penny
Please like you've ever tapped anything but yourself lover boy.Penny
(tied up and kidnapped) So this is where you've been staying - huh? I saw a Pottery Barn catalog that has the same similiar feel...Joanna
Penny: See I told you not to trust those crazy bitches!
(Joanna gives her a mean stare)
Penny: What?! Too soon?
Kat: There is a code, Will. Chicks before sticks.
Will: I thought it was Bros before hoes?
(to Darryl) It's like you've stepped out of a 70's porno and into my life.Roxie
This is not a bucket list. This is a suck-it list.Darryl
Josh: (Josh has lipstick on his face as he introduces himself to Roxie inside a jail cell)I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. I've been trying to get Chad to have you over for dinner.
Roxie: (to Chad) Younger brother?
Josh: And a friend of Mia's.
Roxie: Yeah, I can see her friendship smeared all over your face.
Joanna: Penny, we're in a crisis. I've got my back against the wall. There's only one thing to do.
Penny: What's that?
Joanna: We need to party.
(to Roxie) Hey, I thought we could go to your place for slunch, which is my new word for sex plus lunch.Chad
Roxie: Excuse me, young lady?!
Mia: You are not allowed to 'young lady' me. For fifteen years, you've been trying to be my pal. You can't just turn around and be my mom.
Roxie: I will 'young lady' you all I want, young lady! And believe me, I am your mom. I have the stretch marks to prove it.