Eastwick

Eastwick Quotes (Page 3)

Season 1 Episode 4: "Fleas and Casserole"

Kat: You know what?! We live in a town with all kinds of silly, witchy, tourist-y bull crap. This is got to be related somehow. It's just another silly, witchy, tourist-y, bull-crappy symbol.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: You wore a Vera Chang wedding dress?
Joanna: I couldn't afford Vera Wang.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: (rambling to Morgan) Boy! I wish I could stay and chat, but unfortunately, I'm-- I'm very late... For work, not like, 'oops! I missed a period, late' which would be pretty impossible right now. Not-- not that I'm not having a lot of sex, I definitely am. Just, you know, safe sex-- safer sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 3: "Madams and Madames"

Roxie: To err is human, to forgive is divine. All that crap.


 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: (staring at Kat in a hot dress) If we were in college, a little Indigo Girls on my iPod, you wouldn't stand a chance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kat: (to Joanna) I can't believe you went to a whorehouse.
Roxie: (to Kat) I can't believe you had sex in a public pool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: 'And I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. They will know that I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance on them.'
Roxie: Pulp Fiction?
Darryl: No, Ezekiel. Twenty-five, seventeen.
Roxie: I wouldn't have pegged you for a Bible thumper.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Joanna and Will start making out on a desk)
Will: No, wait. I want to do this right.
Joanna: Oh, we can do it all kinds of ways.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: (making a toast) To a successful evening for each of us. May I put my ghost to bed. (to Joanna) May you put your story to bed. (to Kat) And may Raymond put you to bed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: (looking at pictures of Will taken by Joanna) Stalk much?
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: (talking about the ghost of Gus) Seek him out. Ask him what he wants. If you can figure out why he's here, you can probably figure out how to make him leave.
Roxie: Does that same logic apply to you?
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Darryl: You believe in a lot of weird and crazy things.
Roxie: I don't believe in ghosts.
Darryl: Why do you think you keep seeing one?
Roxie: I don't know. Psychotic break, acid flashback, early Alzheimer's?
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: I've been thinking about you.
Roxie: Let me guess. Naked and covered in some kind of cooking oil?
Darryl: Mmm, canola, yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: (to Mia) I don't think you're stupid at all...I think you are my salvation.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: Meow....what? I'm cat woman.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bun: Three blind mice...three blind mice...see how they run.
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: (Speaking about Chad to Roxie) He wants you to text him - O M G!
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: (looking at Kat in the sexy red dress) I have lady wood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: I'm going to hell, aren't I?
Darryl: I can think of worse places to spend eternity ... Los Angeles, for instance.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: WWNDD?
Joanna: What would Nancy Drew do?
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Eastwick" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!