Will: You're a good friend.
Kat: And you're acting like a moron! Smarten up and be nice to Joanna.

Darryl: This is what I'm talking about. Sharing our feelings, food fights, tickle fights. I just love celebrating with you ladies!
Roxie: Tickle fights?
Darryl: Drink some more wine.

Would you like some of my duck in your mouth?


Here's to liquid courage!


The inner animals of our citizenry will be released.


Nobody puts Joanna in a corner.


That's one of the really... perplexing things about life, isn't it? Any true pleasure comes with a price. We drink too much, we wake up hung over. We eat too much, we pack on the pounds. You enjoy one moment of lust, and you live a lifetime of guilt. Yeah, what feels good comes with a cost. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of figuring out how much you are willing to pay.


It's like the hokey pokey - emphasis on the pokey.


Oh, I think you are going to need a larger tape.


No, they're boob-iful.


Joanna: (runs after Morgan) Oh, and by the way, you also have terrible bacne, a mild case of halitosis, and miniscule man-berries.
Morgan: I happen to be an avid cyclist!
Joanna: Teeny-tiny testes. We're talking smurf-sized!

Morgan: It would be wrong to get married with someone when I'm sleeping with someone else. I may be a lot of things, but I don't cheat...except with my soulmate, obviously.
Penny: Awww, he's got boundaries.

Eastwick Quotes

(voiceover) Sometimes, those with the most powerful abilities are hiding in the most unlikely places.


Chicken hands, you gonna stare at my boobs all day or you gonna buy something?