Eastwick

Eastwick Quotes (Page 4)

Season 1 Episode 3: "Madams and Madames"

Roxie: (to Joanna and Kat) Would you like to drive me to the mental institution yourself, or should I take my own car?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 2: "Reaping and Sewing"

Roxie: Since you're a high school dropout, would-be rapist, future Dateline predator who works in a gas station, I'll talk slowly. If you ever touch my daughter again, or any other innocent girl for that matter, so help me God!
Gus: Ok, well, first of all, your little Mia is not so innocent, lady. And second, I may be a high school dropout, but you're the slut who killed her husband so she can bang half the town.
Roxie: I'd be careful what I say next, if I were you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: (opening her gift from Darryl) And it's Maurice. Oh boy! Kat gets silk, and I get... Maurice.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: I ran out of deodorant this morning, so I rubbed my pits with the dryer sheet and now I just smell like mountain fresh BO.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joanna: I have some pretty interesting leads.
Darryl: You just be careful, okay?
Joanna: What do you mean?
Darryl: Sometimes it's probably safer to let sleeping dogs lie.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Penny: You know, I can be at HarvestFest right now. I could be getting drunk, eating pie. But instead, I'm in the woods, with you, knocking on what looks like the door of a serial killer.
Joanna: I know. Isn't it fun?
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: You don't understand the usefulness of anger. Society tries to force you to swallow it down like a good little girl. Because you are angry, you're a bitch. If you're a bitch, no one will you love. Well, I say, that's nonsense.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: Thanks for coming over, even though we had a stupid fight.
Chad: You know me, I'm like a sexual Batman. You call at four AM, and I come running.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: You think you're really adorable, don't you?
Darryl: I think you think I'm really adorable.
Roxie: I think you're not as adorable as you think I think you are
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: The man that you've had the most pathetic crush on for the last two years finally asks you out and you say, 'No'?
Joanna: Don't call me pathetic.
Penny: I didn't call you pathetic. I said that your crush is pathetic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"

Kat: I'm really sick of this town, with its dumb, old legends and myths. Witches and water. It just makes us all seem like dumb, gullible hicks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kat: I'm starting to think that you're married to that hammock.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joanna: Last week, he [Will] asked me how I was, and I told him I had a yeast infection.n!
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see the three of you together. It is...mmmm. It's majestic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: Be a kid! Act crazy. Sneak out of the house. Chase boys. Rebel!
Mia: Mom, it's not rebelling if you tell me to do it.
Roxie: Yeah, but it's still fun!
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: (Talking about Darryl) I don't care how much money he's offering me. Or how good-looking he is. Or how big his... you know, is.
Joanna: How big? Like, on a scale of cars. Golf cart? Hatchback? Four-door sedan?
Roxie: Full-size SUV.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roxie: Sometimes I wish I could meet someone who got me, you know? Someone dark and dangerous and exciting, who moves here in a cloud of scandal. And everywhere he goes, he stirs up sex and trouble. And he's got a really huge... (gasps) appreciation for art.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bun: (voiceover) Sometimes, those with the most powerful abilities are hiding in the most unlikely places.
 • Rating: Unrated

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