Scott: God, the court system is so beautifully f*cked up. I mean they must've switched your sh*t with somebody else's!
Johnny Drama: Some other poor sap will probably get the electric chair.
Billy: Nah, some people are just blessed.

Bobby, why don't you go back to hiding in your kitchen before I shove a shitake mushroom up your ass?


Eric: You're going to drink vinegar?
Johnny Drama: Yup, we're all going to do it. For solidarity.
Turtle: Whatever we gotta do, Vin.
Scott: Well I'm new to the team so maybe I'll just sip it.
Johnny Drama: Pussy.

Johnny Drama: I can naturally secrete almost any substance from of my body in 36 hours or less.
Turtle: Ugh. Says who?
Johnny Drama: I did it in high school.
Turtle: For what?
Johnny Drama: I juiced for wrestling.
Scott: You were on the wrestling team?
Johnny Drama: I didn't make it, but I loaded up for tryouts.

Turtle: He's right, I might throw up.
Scott: Wait I thought you guys were, like, from the 'hood?
Johnny Drama: His mother and auntie coddled him.

Turtle: I saw Brains.
Ari: That's great. I'm guessing they weren't Dramas.

Johnny Drama: The guy was a mess.
Scott: Yeah, even more so now. What do brains look like?
E: Jesus.
Scott: Come on, I'm curious.
Turtle: They're gross. They look like mashed up spaghetti and meatballs.
Johnny Drama: They used kosher egg noodles and cottage cheese when I got shot in the head on New York Undercover.

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