Episode 12: "Give a Little Bit"
Drama [to Vince about Matt Damon]: Sorry, he Jason Bourned me [permalink]
Drama [about Sloan]: Take care of that girl, you lucky bastard. If you don't, Johnny Drama will [permalink]
Turtle: Any idea how quick I can get to Rome?
Flight Attendant: You just flew in from LA
Turtle: Oh yeah, I'm trying to break Guiness record for most miles in 24 hours, what's it to you? [permalink]
Terrance: Oh, Andrew, I didn't know you were still in the business
Andrew: Die
Terrance: Not for you, not for any TV agents [permalink]
Ari: If I could gouge out Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And Lloyd, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dogs and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and let the entire SAG anally rape him if not for the fact he would enjoy it [permalink]
Ari: I always dreamed about ruling the world, but now that I'm getting older I would settle for ruling Hollywood [permalink]
Episode 11: "Scared Straight"
Terrence: If you change your mind, you know where I am.
Ari: Clubbing baby seals somewhere? [permalink]
Jake: Hi Mr. Gold. I'm Jake Steinberg, HR sent me up to replace your last assistant.
Ari: I don't care. Get me Eddy Kapowski on the phone.
Jake: Uhm, any relation to Kelly Kapowski? You know, Saved by the Bell?
Ari: You're finished. Go. You're f**king fired. [permalink]
Ari: Lloyd, if you're hiding somewhere, go deeper because I will find you soon enough [permalink]
Terrance: I have some business I'd like to discuss with you
Ari: A your age, shouldn't you have more important concerns? Like finding an assisted living facility... [permalink]
Drama: E, I've had most of this town, so it was bound to happen that our trees would dabble in the same forest at some point. [permalink]
Ari: Bye Matt
Matt: So back to human resources?
Ari: Back to the Iowa farm house that breast fed you until 15 [permalink]
Episode 10: "Berried Alive"
Lloyd [to Drama]: I've seen everything from "Viking Quest" to the "New New Love Boat." You were a tremendous yougn Merrill Stubing. [permalink]
Drama: I'm on a no sex thing until I book Melrose
Brittney's Friend: That's too bad... kidding! [permalink]
Jamie Lynn: You're so quiet...
Turtle: Nah, just thinking about class, hoping there's not a pop quiz
Jamie Lynn: Do you get those in college?
Turtle: ...no [permalink]
Cokley's Receptionist [on the phone]: He won't return your phone call ever
Lloyd: Ever?
Ari [grabs phone]: Why would he? You're a dead man, Lloyd. I'm everywhere! [permalink]
Lloyd: ...but you'd have to test with the network
Drama: How many other people are testing?
Lloyd: They have no one else right now
Drama: I like those odds [permalink]
Lloyd: I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari
Ari: You're sorry, Lloyd? you have no idea how sorry you'll be. I'm going to destroy you. I am going to erode every fiber of your spirit. You know longer exist. You are dead with me and the town will know. Anyone meeting with you, speaking to you, or even nodding to you on the street will be dead as well. So die, Lloyd. Die, die, die! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls, I want you to bite down so he dies too!
[permalink]
Ari: Honey, I need at least a blow job
Mrs. Gold: Blow yourself [permalink]
Episode 9: "Security Briefs"
Lloyd: This is not The Breakfast Club, Mr Gold! This is my life! [permalink]
