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Family-guy

Tina Fey: I'm better than Jesus!
Lois: Yes, Tina Fey, you're better than Jesus.

Who did Jesus hang around? Mary Magdalene. Who was she? A
prostitute. Which means if they had cameras back then, I bet she
would've done a porno.

Lois

What does it matter what those people in church think? Most of
them are just random background people we never seen before anyways.
Half of them don't even move. The other half just blink.

Peter

Meg [to Chris]: Yea Griffin! Your mom's gross and nasty!
Chris to Meg: Yea suck it! You're a whore daughter!

Good lord! Am I a... porn baby?!

Stewie

I think there was actually more wind back then.

Lois

Oh my god! I thought we were friends! The kind of really good
friends that communicate with each other poorly through Facebook!

Lois

No, you're a lady bigshot... like Miss Piggy!

Lois

BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.

Lois [as Stewie aims a blaster at her]: Well, let me just say, it's
nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie: Yea, no you're fine...

Displaying all 10 quotes

Family Guy Season 9 Episode 9 Quotes

BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.

Lois [as Stewie aims a blaster at her]: Well, let me just say, it's
nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie: Yea, no you're fine...

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