Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family-guy

Peter: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your father in all of his accomplishments.
Meg: What accomplishments?
Peter: Go to your room

Death: What did you make this hot chocolate with? Crap?
Lois: If you want me to make you another, just say so.
Death: I just thought you would make it with milk. Instead of crap

Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England

Peter: Woah, woah, woah! Is this the price of my bill or my phone number?
Nurse: Your phone number

Doctor: This doesn't look good, no this doesn't look good at all.
Lois: Oh no.
Doctor: My nephew drew a picture of me. It doesn't look a thing like me. Look at the nose, it's all wrong!

Death: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek
Peter: I knew it! As soon as that show came on the air I said, "I'm gonna be the one who has to kill 'em."
Lois: It's true, he really said that

Peter: Where did you get that?
Death: It was e-mailed me by your HMO.
Peter: Just because my doctor was hittin' on me, doesn't mean you have to call him names

Lois: Peter, who cares how much it is? You've just got the most important bill of all. A clean bill of health.
Peter: Jeez, Lois. How long have you been waiting to crack out that gem?

Hello, I'm Stewie. Big fan

Stewie [to Death]

Lois: I'm so worried about your father.
Chris: You mean because he's a borderline alcoholic?
Lois: No. Mommy's made peace with that.
Chris: Oh, cause he's got a lump on his booby!
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! "Booby."
Meg: Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.
Lois: Really? Who's Debbie Miller?
Meg: A girl I just made up

Peter: Look. Here they are. My family. Guys, I don't say this often enough, but I'm gonna die!
Lois: Oh my god.
Stewie: High five! Anyone? Anyone?

Diane: And now to Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa, who filed this report... all by herself!
Trisha: Thanks Diane. I'm standing here at the bar where townsperson Peter Griffin withstood a barrage of bullets and did not die. Peter, you're telling me if I shot you with this channel 5 pistol you will be completely unharmed?
Peter: Why don't you give it a shot? Ah ah ah! Oh god! Oh god! Ah... haha just kidding

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

Family Guy Season 2 Episode 6 Quotes

Peter: I'm fine! What are ya, coming on to me now?
Lois: Peter, he's not coming on to you. He's trying to tell you that you're healthy.
Doctor: Can it be both?

Wait a second. That's it! They can't make a dead guy pay his bill. All I gotta do is write "deceased" right here where it says name and where it says sex, I'll write "no thanks, I'm dead". It's bulletproof

Peter
x Close Ad