You are not signed in. Login or Register
Home Shows Recaps Reviews Gallery Exclusives Forum
Family Guy RSS 

Death is a Bitch
Quotes

Peter: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your father in all of his accomplishments.
Meg: What accomplishments?
Peter: Go to your room
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Death: What did you make this hot chocolate with? Crap?
Lois: If you want me to make you another, just say so.
Death: I just thought you would make it with milk. Instead of crap
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Peter: Woah, woah, woah! Is this the price of my bill or my phone number?
Nurse: Your phone number
  • Rating: 10.0 / 10Permalink
Doctor: This doesn't look good, no this doesn't look good at all.
Lois: Oh no.
Doctor: My nephew drew a picture of me. It doesn't look a thing like me. Look at the nose, it's all wrong!
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Death: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek
Peter: I knew it! As soon as that show came on the air I said, "I'm gonna be the one who has to kill 'em."
Lois: It's true, he really said that
  • Rating: 10.0 / 10Permalink
Peter: Where did you get that?
Death: It was e-mailed me by your HMO.
Peter: Just because my doctor was hittin' on me, doesn't mean you have to call him names
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Lois: Peter, who cares how much it is? You've just got the most important bill of all. A clean bill of health.
Peter: Jeez, Lois. How long have you been waiting to crack out that gem?
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Stewie [to Death]: Hello, I'm Stewie. Big fan
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Lois: I'm so worried about your father.
Chris: You mean because he's a borderline alcoholic?
Lois: No. Mommy's made peace with that.
Chris: Oh, cause he's got a lump on his booby!
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! "Booby."
Meg: Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.
Lois: Really? Who's Debbie Miller?
Meg: A girl I just made up
  • Rating: UnratedPermalink
Next »
1 2

Total Quotes: 14

Previous Episode

Go Stewie Go
"Go Stewie Go"
Sun, March 14

Family Guy Tags

Quotes

Lois: I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.
More Quotes »

Archives