Family Guy

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Lois may be worth a million bucks to you, but to me she's worthless

Peter

[the Ku Klux Klan are chasing Peter and Cleveland]
Peter: Holy crap, do you see what I see?
Cleveland: I'm afraid I do.
Peter: We're being chased by ghosts!

Diane: A tragic accident today in the north Providence area, a family of four lost their lives when their mini van swerved off the road and into a ravine, exploding on impact.
[Tom laughs]
Diane: Do you find this funny Tom?
Tom: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I was remembering I accidentally put my shirt on inside out this morning. It's fine now though. So what were you saying about a.... fashion show?

Cleveland: You just put Peter in the doghouse, which is where your mother...
Loretta: Don't say it.
Cleveland: Your mother smells

Cleveland: So where is it you need to go, my new honkey friend?
Peter: Rhode Island. That's not too far, is it?
Cleveland: Nothing's too far away from Maxine the cheatin' queen. Women. That's not fair, I'm just speaking out of hurt

Death's Mom: Why can't you find a nice girl?
Death: Ma, she's gonna dump him.
Death's Mom: Well, at least he got that far. [to Peter]: You know who he took to the Prom? His cousin.
Peter: That's weak.
Death's Mom: Yeah

Death's Mom: Death. Put your jacket on or you'll get frostbite.
Death: I don't have skin!
Death's Mom: That's 'cause you didn't eat your beans!

Displaying all 7 quotes

Family Guy Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Death's Mom: Why can't you find a nice girl?
Death: Ma, she's gonna dump him.
Death's Mom: Well, at least he got that far. [to Peter]: You know who he took to the Prom? His cousin.
Peter: That's weak.
Death's Mom: Yeah

Death's Mom: Death. Put your jacket on or you'll get frostbite.
Death: I don't have skin!
Death's Mom: That's 'cause you didn't eat your beans!