Family Guy

Family Guy "I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar" Quotes

Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talkin' to 'em
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Stewie: Ok, ok. I've got it, I've got it. If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer. You'd need an egg calendar. Ah ha ha ha. Oh, that's right. I went there
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Okay, okay, how many dirty stinkin' apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty stinkin' ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin' apes to throw feces at each other!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: This comic sucks!. He couldn't make me laugh, even if I was laughing my ass off and he was making me do it
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: At least I'll be the fattest guy on Spooner Street who's getting a boat.
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! I'm getting a boat!
Peter: Aw man, even Della Reese is getting a boat
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Ok, here's the plan. I'll be Charlie and you can all be be my angels! Except you. You be Bosley
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: Mr. Griffin, I'm Gloria Ironbox. I represent one of your co-workers, Sarah Bennett. She's suing you and the company for sexual harrasssment.
Peter: Sarah, Sarah? I don't--oh, is she the one we video taped taking a dump?
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: I'd do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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