Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family-guy

I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in

Peter

And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are, and since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure

Peter

Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8:00 ... and home by 11:00, OH!

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Old Lady: What a precious little boy.
Meg: That's my ..uh, uh.. son.
Old Lady: Your son? But you're just a baby yourself. Henry, give the little skank a nice tip

Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?

That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy!

Peter

Peter [about a handbag]: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: More like eleven...hundred.
Peter: Heh, you wished I loved you that much

What's that? Oh yeah. I love crack, I'm absolutly coo-coo for crack

Stewie

[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 15 in total