Brian: You've been hanging out with Tom Cruise?
Stewie: Sure have. We spent the whole day together, and he showed me there are a lot of advantages to being short.
Brian: Yeah? Like what? You're the last one to get wet when it rains?

• Permalink: Yeah? Like what? You're the last one to get wet when it rains?
• Added: October 04, 2015

Stewie: Doesn't it boether you being an adult man who's that short, 'cause the doctor said that's where I'm headed.
Tom Cruise: No way, man. In the middle of the word short is "or". Or gives you a choice, and I choose not to be short.
Stewie: Wow. You need a road map for that one.

• Permalink: Wow. You need a road map for that one.
• Added: October 04, 2015

Lois: Wow, Doctor Hartman, that's really short. I suppose it's fine if he's going to die at 14. Is there anything there about that?
Dr. Hartman: Well, we learned in medical school that the short ones do go faster, because they smell more farts than the rest of us.

• Permalink: Well, we learned in medical school that the short ones do go faster, because they smell more...
• Added: October 04, 2015

Well, dad, I can tell you from experience, it's only wen you worst fears come true that you get to find out how strong you really are.

Joe

• Permalink: Well, dad, I can tell you from experience, it's only wen you worst fears come true that you...
• Added: October 04, 2015

You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.

Brian

• Permalink: You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we...
• Added: October 04, 2015

Tom Cruise: Nobody walks away from tiny Tom Cruise.
Stewie: Yeah, except for all three of your wives.

• Permalink: Yeah, except for all three of your wives.
• Added: October 04, 2015