Hotel Manager: And this is the bathroom, but watch out we got some bad roaches here.
Red Roach: Hey, you're on our turf man!
Green Roach: Hey mana, I'll cut you, I'll cut you up so bad you, you gonna wish I no cut you so bad!
Brian: Those are bad roaches.
Hotel Manager: I blame the schools

• Permalink: And this is the bathroom, but watch out we got some bad roaches ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Would you like a piece of candy?
Stewie: I smell death on you

• Permalink: Would you like a piece of candy? I smell death on you
• Added: October 14, 2009

Peter: Your honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if I was half the parent Brian is, I'd know that Chris' favorite ice-cream is...
Brian: Chocolate Chip.
Peter... and Stewie's favorite bedtime story is...
Brian: Good Night Moon.
Peter: And Meg's real father's name is...
Brian: Stan Thompson

• Permalink: Your honor, Brian'll be a great dad. Hell, if I was half the par...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Lawyer: Mr Griffin, which of the following two phrases best describes Brian Griffin: Problem Drinker or African-American Haberdasher?
Peter: Uh, do I-I guess problem drinker, but that's uh-
Lawyer: Thank-you. Now: Sexual deviant or magic picture that if you stare at it long enough, you see something?
Peter: Well, sexual deviant, but that other one's not even, eh-
Lawyer: Thank-you

• Permalink: Problem Drinker or African-American Haberdasher? Uh, do I-I gu...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Teacher: In French, when you want to say "yes", you say "oui, oui!"
Peter: You gotta be kidding me! Oh my god, that is hysterical. Oh, man. Hey, what do you say for "no"? "Doo Doo?" Hey, I'll be right back. I gotta go take a wicked "yes!"

• Permalink: In French, when you want to say yes, you say oui, oui! You got...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Brian, I am very disappointed in you. I'd turn my back on you but I've seen what do in that situation

Peter

• Permalink: Brian, I am very disappointed in you. I'd turn my back on you bu...
• Added: October 14, 2009

I think the lesson here is, it doesn't really matter where you're from, as long as we're all the same religion

Peter

• Permalink: I think the lesson here is, it doesn't really matter where you'r...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Lois: Ewww, What's that smell?
Brian: It's either bad meat or good cheese...

• Permalink: Ewww, What's that smell? It's either bad meat or good cheese.....
• Added: October 14, 2009

Wait a minute. Pie? Drunk? The?, I think you got yourself a new sherrif!

Peter

• Permalink: Wait a minute. Pie? Drunk? The?, I think you got yourself a new ...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Now whenever I see a dead body, I will poke it twice as hard for you Sam!

Chris

• Permalink: Now whenever I see a dead body, I will poke it twice as hard for...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Listen Chris, I read a book saying that women are from Venus, all right, so here's what you get her. Thick layers of sulphuric acid, viscous surface rock, and coronets which seem to be collapsed domes of a large magma chamber. Here's five dollars

Peter

• Permalink: Listen Chris, I read a book saying that women are from Venus, al...
• Added: October 14, 2009

Aw, the South! Isn't that the place where the black guys are lazy, and the white guys are just as lazy, but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy

Peter

• Permalink: Aw, the South! Isn't that the place where the black guys are laz...
• Added: October 14, 2009