Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 12 Quotes
Peter: Fresh air is bad for a kid. Look at Michael J. Fox.
Lois: What?
Peter: I don't know.
Peter: I am going to the Clam and I am getting my booth back! And Meg, you're gay.
Meg: No, I'm not.
Peter: You like guys, right?
Meg: Yeah.
Peter: That's called being gay.
Stewie: How long have you been there?
Chris: Long enough to know that you have herpes and do weird stuff with your teddy bear.
Stewie: HE does weird stuff; I just don't stop him.
You've got herpes, too? This house is like backstage at a Whitesnake concert.
Stewie
Scumbag: Smells like this guy's already wet himself.
Peter: Don't flatter yourself--that was from this morning.
We're supposed to stick together! Like goatee guys at a barbecue!
Peter
Oh my god! Your mouth looks like the underside of a boat!
Teacher
Oh my god, look at you! You're more herpes than dog!
Stewie
Stewie: Are you blood brothers with Meg because you ate her tampon out of the trash?
Brian: No, that, that's something else.
Says 'Glenn Quagmire.' But if you squint and imagine it says 'Peter Griffin,' it says 'Peter Griffin'!
Peter
You know you've made it when you've got a teenage boss.
Stewie
This shouldn't embarrass you, the size should embarrass you.
Lois [to Peter]
