Brian (trying to consol Peter): Hey, Peter, buddy. How about some TV, huh? (Turns it on)
Announcer: We now return to Freddy Got Fingered.
Peter: Oh, God. (Changes the channel to see E.T. pointing his glowing finger)
E.T.: Ouch.
Peter: Oh, God! (Changes the channel to see a Yellow Pages ad)
Announcer 2: Yellow Pages: Let your fingers do the walking. (Peter runs upstairs crying and passes Chris with a foam finger on)
Chris: Are we still going to the baseball game?
Peter: Get the hell away from me, Chris! (Continues running and crying, pans to see the Evil Monkey, doing his gesture to Peter) Stop it, Meg! (Runs away crying)

Lois: Peter, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter: I...was...raped.

Family Guy Season 5 Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

(Brian and Stewie sitting at table)Brian: So what happened?Stewie: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian...what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like, why can't you just hang out with guys, you know? Just live with someone of your own sex. Just do what you would do with women, but with your buddy, you know? Why don't guys just do that?Brian: They do, it's called being gay.Stewie: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that.