Brian (trying to consol Peter): Hey, Peter, buddy. How about some TV, huh? (Turns it on)
Announcer: We now return to Freddy Got Fingered.
Peter: Oh, God. (Changes the channel to see E.T. pointing his glowing finger)
E.T.: Ouch.
Peter: Oh, God! (Changes the channel to see a Yellow Pages ad)
Announcer 2: Yellow Pages: Let your fingers do the walking. (Peter runs upstairs crying and passes Chris with a foam finger on)
Chris: Are we still going to the baseball game?
Peter: Get the hell away from me, Chris! (Continues running and crying, pans to see the Evil Monkey, doing his gesture to Peter) Stop it, Meg! (Runs away crying)

Lois: Peter, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter: I...was...raped.

Family Guy Season 5 Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

(Iraqi Guy tells Iraqi Suicide Bomber how to bomb a store.)
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ok, I go in store, I throw Back-Pack, Big boom!
Iraqi Guy: No, no, no, you are big boom, big hero!
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Okay right, so I throw backpack, come back and have big hero party with many virgins!
Iraqi Guy: No no no no no no. You BOOM!
Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ohh ok ok, I put on backpack, BOOM, then I come back, big hero virgins.
Iraqi Guy: OK yeah, see you in a few minutes big hero.