When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless. Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.
Lois discovers that the school has been teaching Chris incorrect things about sex, so she volunteers to teach the sex-ed class. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes terrified of the tooth fairy and sets traps to catch her.
After blowing off his fingers with some fireworks, Peter can't get all his work done. Lois comes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brian is dating Jillian, an attractive, but dumb woman.
(Iraqi Guy tells Iraqi Suicide Bomber how to bomb a store.) Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ok, I go in store, I throw Back-Pack, Big boom! Iraqi Guy: No, no, no, you are big boom, big hero! Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Okay right, so I throw backpack, come back and have big hero party with many virgins! Iraqi Guy: No no no no no no. You BOOM! Iraqi Suicide Bomber: Ohh ok ok, I put on backpack, BOOM, then I come back, big hero virgins. Iraqi Guy: OK yeah, see you in a few minutes big hero.