Rachel: It's just that.. I was in there, listening to them bitch about each other, and it reminded me of the Fourth Of July.
Chandler: Because.. it reminded you of how our forefathers used to bitch at each other?

Joey: Mr. Green, why don't we go in the bedroom and put your coat on the bed?
Dr. Green: Uh, sure. That sounds like a two person job.

Rachel: Can you keep my dad occupied? I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.
Ross: Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
Rachel: Just stay clear of, "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter!" and you should be okay.

Ross: Hi Dr. Green. So how is everything in the, uh, vascular surgery... game?
Dr. Green: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Ross: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

Rachel: I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
Chandler: Well, actually just one birthday flan.
Rachel: What?
Chandler: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert... Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.

(To Rachel) How you holding up there, tiger? Oh, sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of tigers. I got a lot of champs, sports, once I even got a governor.

Chandler

Joey: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Why not her?
Joey: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Chandler: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.

Rachel: (Realizing her two fighting parents are both attending her birthday party) Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Chandler: Well, we could count again.

Monica: Joey, they're not real! I start miles beneath the surface of these things, okay? They're fake. See (Monica squeezes her breast) Honk honk.
Chandler: Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns.

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