Futurama Season 2 Episode 9: "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love" Quotes
Edna: Fry? You mean words of such beauty came from the blowhole of that hideous alien?
Leela: Yeah... what? Look, never mind the words. Zoidberg's a doctor. A doctor, honey.
Zoidberg said some dumb stuff but he's a nice guy, really. It's just that Fry's been telling him what to say and Fry's a... do you have idiots on your planet?
Leela
Edna: Yes, well... excuse me, I've got to powder my mouth flaps.
Leela: Uh, me too.
Zoidberg(reading): I'd like to propose a toast to coat check number 84.
Fry: Turn it over.
Zoidberg: Oh, Edna! (reading) Of all the slimy, gross crab monsters on this planet, you are apparently the hottest.
So I returned his artificial heart and ever since then I've been known by the name of Honest Bender.
Bender
Edna: You know, Zoidberg, it's crazy but when you talk this way your obvious deficiencies as a male seem... less obvious. Your genes seem less detrimental. You even stink more.
Zoidberg: Do I ask her to mate now?
Fry: Third date!
Fry: Now ask her how her day was.
Zoidberg: Why would I wanna know?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway.
Zoidberg: How was your day?
Edna: Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then...
Zoidberg: Fry, look what you did, she won't shut up.
Fry: That's normal. Just nod your head and say "Uh-huh".
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, your mating display failed. Why are you trying to talk to me?
Zoidberg: I have no idea.
Fry: You just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating.
Zoidberg: I just wanna talk, it has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense.
Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.
Fry: OK, OK, don't worry. The love meister will take you under his wing.
Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?
Hmm, this "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Zoidberg
Fry: Listen, Doc, if you wanna score you gotta fake like you're in love. Just look her in the eye, start crying and say "I've never been so happy."
Leela: If a guy ever did that to me I'd know it. Wait a second. They've all been doing that to me. Even Sean!
Zoidberg: No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this. Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached.
Leela: At least you didn't smell as bad as them.
Zoidberg: You're right, my stink gland is weak. Smell!
