Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

Anna: I used to kiss my pillow and pretend it was you
Gary: What a coincidence, I used to kiss Allison and pretend she was anyone else

Tom: mom, they have a hamburger that costs $23
Allison: oh
Gary: does it come with a picture of the chef laughing at you?

Dad: What about Allison?
Gary: Dad, the only time I ever want to hear that sentences is if we're on a life raft and someone has to go

Gary: I'm here for you, whatever you need, I'll do it for you. whatever it is you need. I'll help you
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: I'll put the TV on, I'll make you some soup
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: Run you a bath, get you a magazine
Taylor: I am a human being crying out in desperation and need, just come here and hold me!

I'm going to sleep with whoever I have to to prove to my tomorrow I'm not shallow

Gary: There goes another satistifed customer from gary's house of love. over five served
Mitch: You got nothing
Gary: I got nothing. How did you know?
Mitch: I'm a marine. I can hear enemy scouts sneaking into a foxhole from two hundred yards away. Last night? I didn't hear that

Allison [about their marriage counselor]: He makes me feel young.
Gary: Of course he does, he's 80!

Allison: I got a speeding ticket on the way over here.
Gary: You got a speeding ticket? What happened, couldn't your two lady friends get you out of it?!
Allison: Gary, I'm not going to sink to that level.
Gary: Why not? They have!

Allison: You know how I felt the first time he held his arms around me?
Gary: Were you helping him in or out of the tub?

Second Life, huh? That looks pretty cool. You know when I was a kid, we didn't have anything like that. No, we had outside

Gary: You didn't tell me you were double jointed. At one point I thought I had broken you.
Vanessa: I'm not double jointed, I just didn't want to complain

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 42 in total

Gary Unmarried Quotes

Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

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