Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

Gary: There goes another satistifed customer from gary's house of love. over five served
Mitch: You got nothing
Gary: I got nothing. How did you know?
Mitch: I'm a marine. I can hear enemy scouts sneaking into a foxhole from two hundred yards away. Last night? I didn't hear that

Anna: I used to kiss my pillow and pretend it was you
Gary: What a coincidence, I used to kiss Allison and pretend she was anyone else

Tom: mom, they have a hamburger that costs $23
Allison: oh
Gary: does it come with a picture of the chef laughing at you?

I'm going to sleep with whoever I have to to prove to my tomorrow I'm not shallow

Dad: What about Allison?
Gary: Dad, the only time I ever want to hear that sentences is if we're on a life raft and someone has to go

Gary: I'm here for you, whatever you need, I'll do it for you. whatever it is you need. I'll help you
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: I'll put the TV on, I'll make you some soup
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: Run you a bath, get you a magazine
Taylor: I am a human being crying out in desperation and need, just come here and hold me!

Allison [about their marriage counselor]: He makes me feel young.
Gary: Of course he does, he's 80!

Allison: You know how I felt the first time he held his arms around me?
Gary: Were you helping him in or out of the tub?

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