Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Quotes (Page 4)

Season 3 Episode 10: "That'll Do, Pig"

Clara: Jess can't throw.
Jess: I can, too.
Clara: You missed every time.
Jess: I can't concentrate with your annoying midget voice yammering on and on. It's like having Stuart Little shoved in my ear.
 • Rating: Unrated

Clara: Yes. Will you go get me a snow cone?
Jess: Absolutely. Go stand in the middle of the street and wait for me, I'll be right back.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 9: "A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving"

Dean: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
Jess: It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rory: Salad's great, Grandma.
Emily: I'm surprised you can eat at this point, even salad.
Rory: There's still room.
Lorelai: And if there isn't room, we'll add on. I know a good contractor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Don't bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual, the French dip, extra fries, the every Wednesday cherry pie.
Rory: Such service.
Lorelai: Oh, and such a food rut we're in.
Rory: Thank you, Luke.
Luke: I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.
Lorelai: Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?
Luke: Stop it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Hey. (hands Luke a bouquet of flowers)
Luke: What's this?
Rory: Flowers.
Luke: What do I do with them?
Lorelai: Ugh, not this again.
Rory: Put them in a vase with water.
Luke: I don't have a vase.
Lorelai: You do this every year.
Luke: I don't have vases.
Lorelai: Buy a vase.
Luke: But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.
Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: How do you feel?
Lorelai: I ate tofurkey! How do you think I feel?
Rory: Tofurkier?
Lorelai: Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me the whole time. It's like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Rory what are we if not the world's champion eaters?
Rory: It's too much food.
Lorelai: It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.
Rory: Or final hour.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Oh, please, we're not eating for a year.
Rory: Or 'til tomorrow morning.
Lorelai: Whichever comes first.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Kim: Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces.
 • Rating: Unrated

Emily: I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call.
Lorelai: No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine.
Emily: Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 8: "Let the Games Begin"

Luke: Uh, listen, I just want you to know that I had a little talk with Jess earlier.
Lorelai: You did?
Luke: Yes, I did, and I really laid down the rules concerning him and Rory. Trust me, he now knows that I am going to be watching them every second they are together.
Lorelai: Oh good.
Luke: Yup.
Lorelai: You know, they're together now.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Oh yeah. 'I have to get a part for my car,' 'I'm going to go study' - that's kid code for 'Meet me at the previously agreed upon location far away from my clueless uncle.'
Luke: You're kidding me, right? You don't really think that...damn, they are! They're together. They used the kid code and now they're together!
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Can we not say the word "college" for at least forty-eight hours?
Lorelai: Fine.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: How 'bout "collage," can we say "collage"? 'Cause it sounds the same, but it's actually very different.
Rory: Collage is fine.
Lorelai: Okay, good, 'cause I don't even know how to get through a conversation without using the word collage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: We go. We look. Hi Yale. Bye Yale. It's over. No harm, no foul.
Lorelai: How many more two-word sentences can you come up with?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Why are you sitting over there?
Rory: Where?
Lorelai: At that table.
Rory: Huh? How did I get here?
Lorelai: You sat there.
Rory: This chair's very close to that chair so you understand how I could've made the mistake.
Lorelai: Move over here with me?
Rory: Why don't you move over here with me?
Lorelai: Because I'm not the one who sat in the wrong chair.
Rory: I think it's a little presumptuous to assume that my chair is the wrong chair when my chair could just as easily be the right chair.
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Because I'm the leader of the clan. The provider of the household. The Alpha male. And the one whose feet just fell asleep. So there's absolutely no chance of movement.
Rory: Fine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Emily: And what do you intend to do with that paper clip?
Lorelai: I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door.
Emily: Lorelai.
Lorelai: What rhymes with Nantucket?
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: They did? I was at the dance, how come I didn't know about this?
Lorelai: Because you're you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kirk: Luke, where's your lost and found?
Luke: Outside, in the dumpster.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lorelai and Emily are talking about the broken button on Emily's skirt)
Emily: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt.
Lorelai: Mom, let me see.
Emily: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do?
Lorelai: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk.
 • Rating: Unrated

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