Dean: What's the matter, Jess? Why you walking away?
Jess: It's getting a little West Side Story here, Dean, and I gotta warn you, my dancing skills are not up to snuff.

Rory: Salad's great, Grandma.
Emily: I'm surprised you can eat at this point, even salad.
Rory: There's still room.
Lorelai: And if there isn't room, we'll add on. I know a good contractor.

Luke: Don't bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual, the French dip, extra fries, the every Wednesday cherry pie.
Rory: Such service.
Lorelai: Oh, and such a food rut we're in.
Rory: Thank you, Luke.
Luke: I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.
Lorelai: Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?
Luke: Stop it.

Rory: Hey. (hands Luke a bouquet of flowers)
Luke: What's this?
Rory: Flowers.
Luke: What do I do with them?
Lorelai: Ugh, not this again.
Rory: Put them in a vase with water.
Luke: I don't have a vase.
Lorelai: You do this every year.
Luke: I don't have vases.
Lorelai: Buy a vase.
Luke: But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.
Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.

Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen.

Rory: How do you feel?
Lorelai: I ate tofurkey! How do you think I feel?
Rory: Tofurkier?
Lorelai: Drat that Mrs. Kim for not taking her eyes off me the whole time. It's like she was anticipating my napkin maneuver.

Lorelai: Rory what are we if not the world's champion eaters?
Rory: It's too much food.
Lorelai: It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.
Rory: Or final hour.

Lorelai: Oh, please, we're not eating for a year.
Rory: Or 'til tomorrow morning.
Lorelai: Whichever comes first.

Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces.

Mrs. Kim

Lorelai: Hi there. Um, this is Rory Gilmore and I'm Lorelai Gilmore.
Nurse: Lorelai Gilmore?
Lorelai: Yeah, L - o - r . ..
Nurse: You don't look like you've recently suffered a face-altering car crash.
Lorelai: Uh, excuse me?
Nurse: You're also supposed to have buck teeth, a club foot, and alopecia.
Lorelai: Oh. I'm sorry, who told you this?
Nurse: My husband.

(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful.

But I already put him in my revenge notebook.

Paris

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Emily: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I'm taking out the avocado.
Emily: Since when don't you like avocado?
Lorelai: Since I said "Gross, what is this?" and you said "Avocado".
....(later)...
Emily: What's wrong with the tomato?
Lorelai: It was fraternizing with the enemy.

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.