Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 1 Episode 12: "Double Date"

Lorelai: You lied to me so I wouldn't have to lie to Mrs. Kim?
Rory: Yeah.
Lorelai: Oh my God, you really are my daughter.
 • Rating: Unrated

(the Inn is overbooked)
Lorelai: Where did the Ruckers come from?
Michel: Judging from their clothing, a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formal wear.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Kim: (angrily, to a man in her store) You break, you buy!
Man: But it was sticking out in the aisle.
Mrs. Kim: You break, you buy!
Man: But I didn't put it in the aisle.
Mrs. Kim: You have eyes, yes?
Man: Yes, I have eyes.
Mrs. Kim: These eyes work?
Man: Yes, these eyes work.
Mrs. Kim: They can make out shapes, sizes and colors?
Man: Yes they can do all that, but ...
Mrs. Kim: Eyes work, they see lamp in aisle, send message to brain: 'Lamp in aisle - move!' You move. You don't break lamp.
Man: I ...
Mrs. Kim: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break, you buy!
(The man gives in and gives her some money)
Mrs. Kim: (suddenly sweet) We appreciate your business.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Sookie is getting ready to go on her first date with Jackson)
Sookie: I'm scared.
Lorelai: I know.
Sookie: I like him.
Lorelai: He likes you.
Sookie: How do you know he's not being polite?
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: No, I mean it. It's like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes.
Lorelai: He did not have to say yes.
Sookie: Oh my God. Technically, I am his employer.
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: I am. I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on me.
Lorelai: Sookie!
Sookie: Oh! I'm a sexual harasser!
Lorelai: Well, then you need some false eyelashes.
Sookie: This isn't funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Okay. Fine. (pulls out a deck of cards) 5-card draw.
Lorelai: Oh! You're on.
(Luke deals as Lorelai watches intently)
Lorelai: Mm-hm. Mm-hm (looks at her cards) Uh...huh. Give me four. (looks at her new cards) Aah, no four more.
Luke: You can't have four more, those are the four I dealt you.
Lorelai: Well these don't help me and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life - first Rune and now these four cards.
Luke: Whatever you say. (gives her another 4 cards)
Lorelai: Ooh, much better, thank you.
Luke: Rune knew when to run away.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Kim: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable.
Lorelai: Ok, yes, you're right. But teenagers sometimes slip up.
Mrs. Kim: I don't care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does.
Lorelai: You know, it doesn't always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key.
Mrs. Kim: I didn't throw away the key, it's in the kitchen.
Lorelai: (surprised by the answer) Ok, well, I was talking symbolically...but alright, I'm with you now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: Hey.
Lorelai: Hey.
Luke: I haven't seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok?
Lorelai: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds. Very exciting stuff.
Luke: I bet. Oh, uh coffee?
Lorelai: Do you have to ask?
(Luke pours her coffee)
Lorelai: You know, I had a good time the other night, with the cards.
Luke: Oh yeah, yeah. Me too.
Lorelai: Good.
Luke: Yeah, if fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to...
Lorelai: A chance to...?
Luke: Kick your ass in poker.
Lorelai: (taken aback) You wish.
Luke: Burger?
Lorelai: Two and fries.
Luke: Maybe we could do it again sometime.
Lorelai: Oh yeah, well, I... I would like that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 11: "Paris Is Burning"

Rory: Well can you make up your mind before French Class because I'd rather you didn't start making out with Mrs. Collins.
Lorelai: Hey, no promises until I see what she looks like!
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Buttercup is a special dog. She's extremely skittish and tends to react badly towards blonde haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage or anyone in a uniform.
(Luke walks up to them.)
Lorelai: (to Luke) Hey, we just found the doggy version of you.
 • Rating: Unrated

(after Emily confronts Lorelai about kissing Max at Rory's school)
Lorelai: It was a mistake.
Emily: A mistake? A mistake? Is that what you call it, a mistake?
Lorelai: Well, I tried calling it 'Al', but it would only answer to 'mistake.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Sookie: You must really like this guy.
Lorelai: When did you become a relationship expert? You haven't been in a relationship in years. (Big pause, as she realizes what she just said) Wow... zero to jackass in 3.2 seconds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Class is over!
Max: We're back in session.
Lorelai: Well I didn't raise my hand, so don't call on me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: (with Max in his classroom, arguing about whether or not they should be together) What are we, in high school? Well I know we're in high school...
 • Rating: Unrated

(After Rory tells Paris that she did also hurt Mr. Medina when she told everybody about the kiss)
Paris: I do like Mr. Medina.
Rory: Well I'd take some dance lessons because the way you express yourself needs a little work.
Paris: I just didn't want people talking about me anymore.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paris: I wish my mother would sleep with my teachers, it would make midterms a lot easier.
Rory : (stands up, fuming) Madeline, Louise, would you excuse us for a minute?
Madeline: Ooh, cat fight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Every time Mom stuck her finger in his cage, he'd bite her.
Lorelai: And laugh.
Luke: Hamsters can't laugh.
Lorelai: Oh, this one laughed - trust me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: I want a pet.
Rory: You have me!
Lorelai: You won't bring me my slippers in the morning.
Rory: I might if you had slippers.
Lorelai: Will you wear a collar?
Rory: No!
Lorelai: It'll be pink!
Rory: You're sick.
Lorelai: Hey, watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Who shows up at eight o'clock for an eight o'clock date?
Rory: I dunno, maybe a Chilton teacher?
Lorelai: Everybody knows that eight o'clock means eight-twenty, eight-fifteen, tops!
Rory: Well, obviously, he was raised in a barn.
Lorelai: I'll tell you, he's cute but this punctuality thing has knocked 10 points off his Dream Guy quotient.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Were you kissing him?
Lorelai: (surprised) What?
Rory: Mr. Medina! Just Now! Were you kissing him!?
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: What the hell is wrong with you?
Lorelai: I don't know.
Rory: You said you were breaking up with him!
Lorelai: I was!
Rory: I know I told you to be nice, but this was a little extreme, don't cha think?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: She's never really referred to anyone I've dated by their first name, before, I've always kept her out of that part of my life, so, it was like the 'mustache guy' , the 'earring guy', the ... (struggles) 'peg-leg guy'...
Max: Oh, so you've a thing for pirates...?
 • Rating: Unrated

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