Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Lorelai: Here is your 'serious' paper.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: Ooh, and here are your somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Now, these erasers are on lithium so they may seem cheerful, but we actually caught them trying to shove themselves into the pencil sharpener earlier.
Rory: I'm going home.
Lorelai: No, wait! We're going to stage an intervention with the neon post-its and make them give up their wacky, crazy ways.
Rory: You're never coming shopping with me again.
Lorelai: Ooh, here's a card tray -
Michel: There's a man with a funny accent on the phone asking for you.
Lorelai: Really? Did you guys exchange the secret handshake?
What in the world?
</i> Lorelai
Lorelai: Can parents come?
Mom #1: What?
Lorelai: Yeah, it's a big exciting test. I just thought - I'm sorry, is that stupid?
Max: No, it's not stupid.
Lorelai: I just thought I'd like to see the excitement.
Dad #2: It's a test.
Lorelai: Yeah, I know.
Dad #2: What's exciting about a test?
Lorelai: Do you play golf?
Dad #2: Yes I do.
Lorelai: You explain yours, I'll explain mine.
I hate when I'm an idiot and I don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.
Lorelai
Rory: A "D" at Stars Hollow High is like an "F" at Chilton. It's worse. It's like a "G" ... or a "W".
Lorelai: So I'm guessing the spelling test didn't go well either?
(after Rory got a "D" and didn't tell Lorelai about it)
Lorelai: You should have told me...
Rory: I couldn't
Lorelai: You couldn't tell me? You tell me everything!
Rory: It was too humiliating.
Lorelai: Aw, honey. You once told me you loved Saved By The Bell.... What could be more humiliating than that?
It's us, we're not here, we have a life, get over it.
Lorelai's Answering Machine
I guess this goes on the "boy, was I wrong" list, right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance phase.
</i> Lorelai
Headmaster Charleston: My goodness. You do like to throw fits in your family.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Headmaster Charleston: Your daughter threw a similar if not as manic fit of her own this morning.
Lorelai: Oh please. Rory doesn't throw fits. She's the most even tempered person I know.
Headmaster Charleston: Well then she did a lovely impression of you!
Rory: Thanks though.
Lorelai: For what?
Rory: For yelling at the Headmaster the way you did.
Lorelai: Oh, I didn't yell at him.
Rory: You called him 'il duce'!
Lorelai: Which means 'kind sir' in Cantonese.
Lorelai: (to Max) And you! You say she's smart and she'll be fine and this rotting stodgy rathole could use somebody like her and then you completely shut her out of a test that she's crammed for, that she's ready for, that she completely deserves to take!
Max: (to the Headmaster) I didn't call this place a 'rathole.'
Lorelai: Oh no that's true. I added that. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with 'Il duce' here.
