Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
Lorelai: News is on.
Rory: One sec.
Lorelai: (to herself) For our top story tonight, a grisly horrible thing that happened in a small town where no grisly horrible things ever happen. Everyone's shocked. House slides down hill. Liposuction kills, stay fat.
Sweetie, Mommy can't get up right now. Mommy's been sleeping at a right angle all night
Lorelai
Lorelai: You need three highlighters?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Three?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: That's a very random number.
Rory: Three is not a random number.
Lorelai: I mean, how did you get to the number three?
Rory: One dries up, one gets lost, I have one left.
Lorelai: You've really thought this out.
Rory: Yes, I have.
Lorelai: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
(Paris, Madeline, and Louise are walking behind Rory talking about her "D")
Paris: A "D," however, that would be cause for concern.
Louise: A cry for help.
Paris: A job application at McDonald's.
Louise: "Would you like fries with that?"
Paris: Hey, you know, not everybody can be smart. As my mother always says, "somebody has to answer the phones."
Madeline: Okay, I have no idea what you two are talking about.
Paris: No, but Rory does.
Michel: (after Drella runs into him with her harp) Oh, you imbecile!
Drella: Back off, Chevalier.
Michel: You're stupid, blind, and clumsy!
Drella: Yeah, well, at least I'm not French.
Michel: (to Lorelai) Can I kill her?
Loreali: Not before high tea.
Michel: (to Drella) Fine. Then I will curse you constantly and in several languages.
Rory: If you let me study now, I'll play with you this weekend.
Lorelai: Promise?
Rory: Yes, we can do anything you want.
Lorelai: Will you go to the shoe sale with me?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Will you let me try on anything I want?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Will you help me push other people out of the way if they're going for my size?
Rory: I'll even run interference for you.
Mrs. Kim: (referring to a Snickers bar) That is chocolate-covered death.
Rory: (taking a bite) With a creamy caramel surprise.
Lorelai: Sookie, I need coffee to go.
Sookie: There's fresh over there.
Lorelai: Ooh, good. (walks over to the coffee pot to find it empty) Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc.
(when she tastes the "bad coffee") Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel!
Lorelai
Lorelai: Hey, Backwards baseball hat...new look for you. (Looking over at Rory) She's eating pie? Did she eat dinner?
Luke: You raised her. I just serve.
Lorelai: The Comedy of Errors: written?
Rory: 1590.
Lorelai: Published?
Rory: 1698.
Lorelai: Ooh, 1623. Close.
Rory: How is 1623 close?
Lorelai: You got the 16 part right.
Rory: I was off by seventy-five years.
Lorelai: Well, anything under a hundred is close.
Rory: What kind of a rule is that?
Lorelai: I'm running the study session here. Okay. Richard III.
Rory: 1591.
(Lorelai imitates a wrong-answer buzzer)
Rory: '93?
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
Rory: '96?
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
Rory: Okay, that's getting really annoying now.
(Lorelai imitates buzzer)
