Why don't we not workshop my apology? I think it takes us down a dangerous road, workshopping each other's emotions.


Your entire life you've been telling the world you're a loser who doesn't care. That's not you anymore. I've watched that happen.

Shoshanna [to Ray]

Shoshanna: I just don't understand why nobody tells you how bad its gonna be in the real world.
Marnie: Yeah they do. It's pretty much all they tell you.

Oh so this is how you guys really sound. I thought this was just mixed really badly.

Jessa [to Marnie]

Your whole story is like a winky face emoji followed by a poop emoji.


It's just you. You're uncomfortable in your own skin and you think it's everyone else's problem. But you know wherever you go, there you are.

Elijah [to Hannah]

I just realized I got so good at taking selfies, I wasn't feeling challenged anymore.


I think it's really important to be honest even if it's really difficult.


Marnie: I am not the mistress.
Ray: You are 1000 percent the mistress.
Marnie: Not if I end up with him.

Oh hey, I see you haven't back off on the self tanner.

Jessa [to Elijah]

Hannah: I love you so much. I hate everyone that isn't you.
Elijah: Me too. I've been saying that for years!

On the way here from the airport, two people asked me if I was Blake Lively's husband. Iowa is awesome!


Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.


Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.