Glee

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on FOX

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Season: 3 2 1

Glee Quotes (Page 3)

Episode 9: "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"

Sue: I made plans to shoot reindeer from my helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she canceled. Apparently Todd gets fussy when she misses his ballet recitals.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue: Christmas is a time for forgiveness. I have decided to forgive you for having no talent and ruining the American songbook, one mash-up at a time.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Finn: Holy crap. I'm dating Kim Kardashian.
• Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

Finn: All I want for Christmas is you.
Rachel: All I want for Christmas is you, too. And five things on that list.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 8: "Hold on to Sixteen"

Santana: It was that damn Trouty Mouth! Even I felt a little something in my lady loins when he did that magic sex dance.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Rachel: We're kind of friends huh?
Quinn: Kind of.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Shelby: Don't wish away your life, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sam: Do you know the song "Jack and Dianne" by John Mellencamp?
Quinn: Please don't sing.
Sam: My favorite lyric is this one, hold on to sixteen as long as you can.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: You smell like Craigslist.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Episode 7: "I Kissed a Girl"

Sue: My iPhone 5 is vibrating. That's a new feature of the iPhone 5, they vibrate now.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck [to Shelby]: Screw you. Sure you've got the boom and the pow, and your lips are cash money. But what really turned me on about you was how much of an asskicker you were, winning all those championships, going to New York. raising Beth on your own. All garbage. This was your chance to get in on the ground floor of something really special: me. But you're too much of a coward to go for it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck: The advantage of a relationship with a younger dude is that I've still got four more rounds in me before I need a steak sandwich and a Coke Zero.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue [to Beiste]: Why don't you hurry on to your next face-widening session at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening and Facial Weight Gain?
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Sue: Truth is, journal, I'm attracted to men. Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talk, but when it comes to getting sexy, this gal's got a hole in her heart that only a fella can fill.
• Rating: Unrated

Santana: While there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: If elected, I'll have sugary treats available at all times. Helps with concentration. That's what George Washington said.
• Rating: Unrated

Santana: When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. I call her Snix. Her wrath of words is called Snix juice.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0