Why would I stoop to such puerile acts? Because I hate you, Will Schuester. And I will stop at nothing until I see you homeless in the streets drinking gutter runoff and allowing passersby to perform lewd acts on your buttchin for money. You are a fatuous, dim-witted borderline pederast who tears up faster than a gay jihadi in a sandstorm. You have befouled the profession of teaching by accepting not only one but two Teacher of the Year Awards despite not speaking a word of the foreign language you purport to teach. Like the storied predators of yesteryear, Will, you pick only the most vulnerable students to favor while actively neglecting the others. Like that gross kid with the dreadlocks, or that poor Irish idiot Rory, or that black dancer whose name none of us remember because you rode his back to a win sectionals and then promptly ignored him into oblivion. You positively worship a student if they can so much as carry a tune and yet you don't know a single name of the only true musical genius in that choir room--THE BAND, who have demonstrated that they can at the drop of a hat play literally any song you can name and still you treat them like so much nameless human garbage.Sue
Madison: More stage time for us.
- Permalink: More stage time for us.
Rachel: I'm actually not a beginner. My dads put me in lessons when I was four and I got bored so I quit.
Blaine: Huh! That's so unlike you.
- Permalink: Huh! That's so unlike you.
Kurt: I do not want to get back together with Blaine. I've moved on. I met someone online. His name is Walter.
Sue: Oh, Porcelain, no. No no no no. You will not come out of this alive. This person is obviously a cannibal. I mean, look at you. You are exceptionally well-marbled. If I were on a deserted island with everybody I knew, I would absolutely eat you first. It doesn't even have to be a deserted island. There could be any number of casual dining establishments and I would still opt to eat you--a mouthwatering, delicious, corn-fed, porcelain rump roast.
Sam: What do you do in your free time?
Rachel: Hmmm...besides cry?
- Permalink: Hmmm...besides cry?
[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.Brittany
Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.
[to Spencer] I'm actually kind of jealous of all the snooping around you've been able to do without detection. It's like you're Batman, only gay.Sue
So, I figure that this is as good a place as any to ask you this question, mainly because it's going to really upset all the single guys and gals in here, but I want to mash up with you forever, Britt. I mean, some people love someone because they make them a better person and that's not why I love you because you've always just wanted me to be myself. You're my favorite person in the whole world and we're a big deal, you know? Like no matter how many times we've tried to put our thing down and walk away from it we can't because I don't want to live my life without my one true love. I normally I use a lot of words when I'm saying something negative so since this is the most positive thing I'm ever going to do, I'm gonna keep it simple. Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?Santana
[to Becky] Oh, honey. All healthy relationships are built on lies! You know what? I'm pretty sure that's why I ended up divorcing myself.Sue
Brittany: As a math genius, I am one of the few people who understand the concept of infinity and I will love you until infinity, Santana Lopez.
Santana: And I will love you until infinity too, Britt.
- Permalink: And I will love you until infinity too, Britt.
[to Santana] Okay, I may be a genius, but how can I argue with the logic of your giant, generous heart?Brittany
[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.Rachel
- Permalink: You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us,...
I just want somebody to love me.Quinn
- Permalink: I just want somebody to love me.