Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.


I don't buy that. I don't think any one decision makes your life unless you accidentally invent some kind of zombie virus or something.


Thank you so much, it really is a pleasure. While the boys chose a selection of songs that casts an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today's modern teens we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks of the nation as a whole during these troubling times filled with economic uncertainty and unbridled social woes, because if there's two things America needs right now, that is sunshine and optimism! Also angels.


Santana: Everyone knows my job here is to look hot.
Quinn: My baby hormones make me moody.
Brittany: There's so many words!

It was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew, and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.


We all know that my job here is to look hot.


One day you will all work for me


You should know that there's some boy out there who's gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don't like... Those are gonna be the things he likes the most.


Will: Inside, you're a really good person. I appreciate what you're doing for these kids. I won't forget it.
Sue: I'm seriously gonna puke in your mouth.

I spent large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that I once shoved your face into one of those pink-inflamed monkey butts.


It's as barren as me in here.


Rachel: We don't care what the judges say: we won. Because we had you as a teacher.

Glee Season 1 Quotes

I'm engorged with venom, and triumph.


Quinn: If you quit the club, I'll let you touch my breast.
Finn: Under the shirt?
Quinn: Over the bra.