By the power invested in me by a website, I hereby pronounce you Sue and Sue. You may kiss yourself.

Sue

I'll bet people say you look man-ish, but I think it's perfectly alright for a woman to be handsome.

Doris

Santana: I'm dating Puck.
Quinn: You're getting naked with Puck.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

I can't suspend someone for shoving you into a locker. He'll just say he tripped and accidentally pushed you. I use that excuse all the time.

Sue

I will expel him faster than a Thai takeout place can read back a delivery order.

Sue

Kurt: When you call me "lady," that's bullying and it's really hurtful.
Sue: I'm sorry. I genuinely thought that was your name.

My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac.

Kurt

Finn: Are you sure we should free 300 live doves indoors? Won't that get messy?
Kurt: That's why we feed them glitter.

These galactic moguls aren't the stars of McKinley. We are. At least I want us to be.

Sam [to Quinn]

Sue, you can't tame the tiger. You've read my tattoos.

Ron

I just prefer to think of the homleess as outdoorsy. So shine on urban campers!

Sue

Glee Season 2 Quotes

Even if your team has dropped their sequin-covered panties and urinated all over the stage like an elderly Carol Channing, they literally could not have done worse.

Sue

One girl ate a pigeon. That's how badly they wanna be Cheerios.

Sue