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I have OCD. I throw awat a broom after I've used it once, and you think I'm gonna get married at a campground?


You and me, we've been doing this dance for over a decade. You know, Starsky and gay Hutch.


Champagne on a Tuesday? You've gone all Hunter S. Thompson.


I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.


Sam: Quinn's a great girl, but you're gonna have to decide: do you wanna be closer to God or closer to her?

I'm a good Christian, there's just no way a dude's gonna be able to resist.


Joe: I was having feelings.
Sam: You mean like, in your pants feelings?

Joe is really pretty, but I heard she doesn't shave her armpits.


Finn sends me cute text messages all the time. They're usually puns about my boobs, but I still appreciate the effort.

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