Can we just call the cops? I'm hungry. And all you seem to have are olives and hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Jack

Dan: There are a million gold dresses.
Serena: Yeah but there's only one with a Pamela Dennis label... cut out. Take it off.
Dan: This is obviously a misunderstanding.
Serena: Why are you defending her? You are not leaving here in that.
Charlie: If you didn't want me to go to the party with Dan you didn't have to humiliate me.
Serena: Okay, Charlie, this has nothing to do with Dan.
Dan: Good. Then you won't mind if we leave together. Now.

The time code is after my father left the building. You're the one that locked the doors. My father didn't set the fire that killed your wife. You did.

Chuck

Unless you're in to arson porn, there's obviously something else of interest on that tape.

Jack

Russell: What the hell is going on?
Chuck: Divine intervention. If you consider Satan divine.
Jack: You did get in one good punch.
Chuck: It was a long time coming.

I hope you'll join me at this party to make a formal debut. If you're not ready to share your life—all of it—don't show up. I'll leave with my mother tonight.

Louis

Louis: I saw him before I came here.
Blair: If he told you something happened he's lying. He just trying to get you to leave me.
Louis: I saw his hand. It's not the ring that cut your face. Blair, how can you lie to protect someone who hurt you?

It's true what they say about diamonds. They cut not only glass but porcelain as well.

Blair

Sophie: Perhaps I judged you too harshly after the consulate affair. Cyrus has told me of your job at W and your straight A average, all while dedicating yourself to avian welfare.
Cyrus: You would never let a duck go hungry.

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