Popular Happy Endings Quotes
Old brad didn't take baths because his tub was filled with 311 CDs.
Jane
It's 2012, welcome to sexytown, population Jeffrey!
Penny
It's like he's squatting in a vacant Bennigans.
Penny
If the sex is crazy on a regular night, imagine what the VD sex is gonna be like.
Dave
We get it, they're all 69 dollars.
Penny [to Max]
Not everyone's as terrible as you Penny, with all due respect.
Dave
No no no no I don't do drills or shots, I can't do pain, ok? Give me the goof juice, just give me the goof juice and don't be bashful, put me under, put me all the way under. I won't get mad if I make in my pants. Seriously I won't sue if I poo.
Brad
Jane [about her Grandma]: JFK once called her a real Chicago slut.
Penny: Why are you always so proud of that.
Jane: It's Camelot, brew!
Alex: After I got mistaken for a whore, it made me realize something.
Max: That your grandmother was a whore?
The doctor said you're lucky you're still alive.
Jane
Dave: I just blew a threesome.
Penny: Two V's and one D? Or two D's and one V?
The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."
Penny