Favorite House of Lies Quotes
If I thought it would grease the wheels, I would run a train on Eyebrows and Ink Stain.
Clyde
I know what I'm doing at work, but at home with him I don't have a fucking clue.
Marty
Doug: My friend, a little tip? I would be nicer to them really because they're going to be stupid rich when their stupid app launches.
Clyde: The fact that we have to share a space with those douchey proto-facist mavericks makes me want to strap a bomb to my chest.
(to Jeannie about their relationship) I don't think that's really going too good... at all. I need you...for now. But I can't really get over everything that's happened. I'd like to. I'm trying to. But it's not happening... We need to just get through this transition and then you should leave for good.
Marty
Jeannie: I'm not giving you my baby!
Sarah: You are so fucking selfish!
Jeannie: And you are so batshit crazy!
Marty: Oh Jeannie. What's the big deal? Just give them the baby! It's not like it's a baby.
You're a dishonest person Jeannie. And I get dishonesty. I mean, I do of course. But yours doesn't seem to have an off switch. Now I may end up drowning but it's not going to be because of you.
Marty
Jeannie: I will give you a big, fat juicy blow job if you would just shut the fuck up and stop being such a whiny bitch about it.
Clyde: Okay, so I'm a whiny little bitch?
Jeannie: Yeah, whiny little bitches look at you and say "ew, what a whiny little bitch."
Clyde: Fuck you!
Jeannie: Fuck you!
Ellis: Marty, I'm not going to beg.
Marty: Then I can get back to my book.
When baby goes poopie, we're supposed to make a big fuss.
Marty
Clyde: You know when Mommy and Daddy fight, it hurts me in my no no place.
Doug: Your dick!
Marty: When are you going to rape and pillage my company?
Denna: I'd rather stick to raping and pillaging you.
Marty: Boo, don't threaten me with a good time.
Clyde: Did you mean to say you are a crazy country?
Marty: That's auto correct. But the word's still there. If she read it out loud, she'll get it.
