Favorite House of Lies Quotes
Clyde is back to full asshole mode now that I won't go out with him.
Kelsey
Oh my God, Malcolm. You do know that's Dad's girlfriend, right?
Marty
Kate Spade? Seriously? Get out of my face.
Roscoe
Thing is, real fortune has nothing to do with chance or luck. "Fortuna" is bullshit. Real fortune is calculated. It's relentless, fucking criminal even. You have to make fortune happen.
Marty
That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.
Jeremiah
Doug: It's not going up, Marty.
Marty: They have pills for that.
Clyde: It's so brave of you to talk about it. Usually, guys that can't get erections don't want to say...
Doug: Trust me, I get plenty of erections.
Clyde: Feel like you're overcompensating now.
Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?
Roscoe
It's very cute the way you all are sort of learning at your own pace.
Marty
Marty: You, the one who started this whole thing from your dorm room while spanking the monkey before your eight o'clock.
Doug: God, he's takin' me back.
Jeannie: Mmm me too.
Don't poke the bear when he's hungry. He was a nightmare on Jenny Craig.
Roscoe
Clyde: Which Clooney was that because I've never seen that in my entire life?
Doug: The Facts Of Life Clooney, TV's everyman.
Clyde: TV Clooney is not the real Clooney unless you're talking about ER then barely maybe one season of Clooney.
I smoked better weed than this with my seventh grade teacher.
Jeannie
