House of Lies

Sundays 10:00 PM on Showtime
House of lies

One word about my engagement and I will cut off O'Henry, Supa Dupa and Knight Rider and I will throw them in a Mexican dog fight.


Doug: Jeannie I wanted to get you a penis cake.
Jeannie: I'll take the penis cake as well, chocolate?

Some men find pregnant women sexy. Me? My penis is sad!


I think I'm OD'ing...I'm over D'ing!


Doug: I think I'm gonna float away.
Clyde: Let it go!

Oh man do you realize, I've never had Korean Barbecue in my life? That was awesome!


Love him or hate him, whether he survives or gets thrown to the wolves, Marty Kaan is at least his own man.

K. Warren

Clyde: How can he talk with all that cock in his mouth?
Doug: Can you nurse a hard-on?
Clyde: If anybody can do it, you can.
Doug: You're the hard-on that needs a nurse.
Clyde: Ew, what?

You can't drink that away!


Jeannie: You have serious issues.
Marty: I Know!

You never ever trust anyone until you know their angle and now you know.


We are here to open wallets not minds.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 58 in total

House of Lies Quotes

Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?


That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.

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