How can you believe in dark matter, but not in dark spirits?

Dominika

Chase: I'm looking at her.
Park: Um, I'm looking at him.
House: Good. Now lick your lips.

My watch must have stopped. Must be a quarter to never.

Wilson

I'll tell you what would be weirder. If you didn't have a sex dream about Chase.

Taub

Relax. I'm a doctor. Your spectacular breasts mean nothing to me.

For a moment I thought you were uncomfortable with Chase because you had a nocturnal Australian.

Wilson: You are a horrible person.
House: All I need is to break up one marriage. You broke up three of your own. You're like the Stephen Hawking of killing relationships.

Ohhhh. A metaphor. What you didn't foresee is that I actually do have a sex doll.

Taub

Adams: You can juggle. I fail to see how this would benefit you.
House: What if I'm busy?

Thank you, Butterscotch. Is that a family name?

35 year old male who cries blood and is not Vampire Bill. Go!

Chase: I was doing something nice.
House: Umm...ohhh...no, that doesn't sound right.

House Quotes

Do you know what bisexual means? It doesn't mean you have sex with two people at once.

Thirteen

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House