Favorite House Quotes
House: I bumped into your babe, naked.
Dr. Wilson: I told you to stay out of my bathroom.
House: I was in the kitchen.
Dr. Wilson: She was naked in the kitchen?
House: I was naked.
Dr. Wilson: Why the hell were you naked in the kitchen?
House: Uh, it's not important right now.
Taub: Fighting's not brave. It's just stupid.
Dr. Chase: You would say that.
Taub: You think I've never been in a fight?
Dr. Chase: No, I just think you never won one.
Taub: I took on three guys in college once.
House: Hope they bought you dinner first.
Sam: You're pretty much insufferable all the time, aren't you?
House: Sorry, go on. And, yes.
House: You're asking me to condone a relationship based on lies and mistrust.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah.
House: When and where?
He's just trying to get into your skirts. And I don't mean metaphorically.
No other species mates for life. If you're gonna bring up swans, they cheat just like everyone else. They just have better PR than rabbits.
One of the few drawbacks of having an open marriage. No one ever asks me about current events or the weather.
Patient
Taub: So the only time you're interested in my marriage is when you can blow it up?
House: You're the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila.
What about sex? I'm talking about the patient. Is that cool?
Chase
I'm getting a lecture in communication from someone who had her lawyer tell me she wanted a divorce.
Wilson
At this point, either I walk away, or I try accept who you really are.
Taub's wife
Taub: I am going out with Mya tonight... with Rachel's permission.
Foreman: Mazel Tov?
