Favorite House Quotes
Masters: Julie doesn't have smallpox.
House: Did I just dream the part where I finally agreed it was smallpox? Well, if what I thought was reality was actually a dream, then the reverse... oh, my God, I had a threesome with Beyonce and Lady Gaga.
Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered?
House: Scent of a man. I realize you haven't experienced it sober.
I'm 5'6" and have a receding hairline. I hate genetics.
Taub
So, is she as bendy as she looks?
Thirteen
What am I gonna wear? All my cereal boxes are at the cleaners.
What better cover than a business trip to Nebraska? Like that's really a place.
Patient: You're Dr. House, aren't you?
House: Oh... God! Don't tell me we used to date.
Dr. Cuddy: You don't take Vicodin because you're scared. You take it so you won't feel pain. Everything you've ever done is to avoid pain. Drugs, sarcasm... keeping everybody at arm's length so no one can hurt you.
House: As opposed to everyone else in the world who goes looking for pain like it's buried treasure?
Dr. Cuddy: Pain happens when you care. Y-you can't love someone without making yourself open to their problems, their fears. And you're not willing to do that.
Giving House a computer is like giving plutonium to Dr. No.
Wilson
(seeing a photo of a fitness trainer) Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
Cuddy: This is the part where you play the employee and I play the boss.
House: I can see your nipples. Your turn.
Dr. Wilson: If there's one thing I've learned from you, it's that I should do what I think is right and not worry about the consequences.
House: Yeah, it's worked out great for me.
