House Quotes
That look of shock is elitist and offensive. Doctors can be degenerates too. This is America.
House [to Dr. Adams]
Mendelson [regarding House's special attention to his cellmate]: Why you keep helping him out?
House: Yeah, why would I want to make sure that my homicidal cellmate is taking the right anti-psychotics?
You wanna know how I feel? I feel hurt.
Cuddy: I haven't dated anyone since you.
House: You know what they say, once you go gimp...
Dying can also do a number on your ability to think.
Wilson: You're forging my name on prescriptions again.
House: No. Because what you just said implied I stopped.
You took an oath. An oath to be cool. At least that was the oath I uttered under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one.
Foreman: How many of those have you had today?
House: I don't know. Is your "mother" a number?
Cuddy: It's a privacy curtain.
Foreman: Wasn't working.
Cuddy: I don't get it.
House: You masturbate to Owen Wilson.
Cuddy: I meant the box.
Foreman: You forgot about the fourth symptom: being absolutely crazy.
House: Doctor says it's okay as long as I don't leave my hospital bed.
Taub: Which doctor was that, Seuss or Jay?