Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Ted: Robin, you should get the slap, you're a great slapper. In fact, I want to study slapping under your tutelage. I want to be your slaprentice.
Robin: Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy, you're a slapping rock star. Your name should be Eric Slapton.
Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got statutory written all over your body.
Mickey: I'm fighting a losing battle with hemroids here.
Marshall: Oh that's of the diseases [from the board game]?
Mickey: No.
Lily: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.
Barney: Yea. Lily, you know I can't promise that
Robin: I never got to go to my prom; we always had field hockey nationals in the spring.
Barney [coughs and then waits to say]: Lesbian!
Robin: The cough was supposed to cover the lesbian.
Barney: No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate
Nerd: Hey, you ladies want something to take the edge off?
Robin: What the hell, it's prom. [takes a drink] That tastes like cough syrup!
Nerd: Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. Our fake IDs said we're only 20, and we didn't realize it until after we bought them.
Robin: Nerds who aren't good at math? Life is going to be rough boys
Scooter: You're breaking up with me?
Lily: There is so much I still want to do. I want to travel, live overseas, as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship, plus I think I was just dating you because you look a little like Kurt Cobain.
Scooter: I can change; I can look more like Kurt Cobain
Nerd: So what's the deal here, am I getting lucky tonight?
Robin: Oh, Shawn, look, umm, you're a nice guy but I just don't...
[he throws up on her]
Robin: No, you're not getting lucky tonight
Ted: You slept with one of my best friends.
Robin: What? You said you were okay with that!
Ted: Well I'm not.
Robin: Why didn't you say something at the time?
Ted: Because... I'm still in love with you.
Robin: Do you really want to slap Barney so bad that you would lie about being in love with me?
Ted: I really want to slap him, okay?
Last year you got left at the alter, you lost your job. You've come such a long way from then. I'm so proud of you, Ted. You get to slap someone in the face as hard as you can.
Robin
Marshall: I bequeath to you ... the fourth slap.
Ted: Are you saying what we think you're saying?
Marshall: Probably not. Unless you think I'm saying Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap, in which case that's exactly what I'm saying!
Ted: So how was your first prom?
Robin: You tell me. I hated my dress. My date got wasted and puked on me. There was a huge fight. And I kissed a girl.
Ted: So basically, it was a prom
