Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Lily [to nerds]: Hey boys, wanna take two hot girls to the prom?
Nerd: Sorry, we don't have money.
Robin: It's free.
Nerds: Okay then
Ted: This slap was supposed to be a joyous gift. We've let it come between us.
Robin: Oh my God, you're right. This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple.
Ted: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.
Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing
Lily
Robin: And look, you can still travel, you can still paint, and as far as your lesbian experience. [kisses Lily] Happy?
Lily: Yeah. So, field hockey, huh?
Robin: Shut up
Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.
Marshall: It'll be cool. I'll tell you what, we'll make a game out of it. First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.
Ted: Do I look like I'm four? ... All right, what kind of prize are we talking about?
Marshall: Please, I don't have any baggage.
Lily: Mommy issues.
Marshall: No.
Lily: Grandmother issues.
Marshall: Nah.
Lily: Great-grandmother issues.
Marshall: I just don't like when she picks me up!
You are so sweet sweet, sweet [Marshall leaves, turns to Robin] Sweet mother of God he's annoying sometimes.
Lily
Barney: We'll just sneak in.
Marshall: We are not sneaking in to a high school prom.
Lily: Yes we are, it's the only way.
Ted: You are getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped
Ted: Things are going great, but ...
Robin: Ah ...
Ted: That's the issue.
Barney: Her butt?
Ted: No. Everyone has baggage. Things go great until the point where you realize everything's ruined.
Barney: When she turns 30.
Ted, please. It's not that big a deal. I've been left at the altar before too. Three times in fact.
Royce
