Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Mary, Ted is a great guy. You hold on to him, don't let him out of your sights. For a minute.
Robin
Mary [Whispering to Ted]: You know that scene in Empire when they lower that helmet onto Darth Vader's head? [pointing at Sandy Rivers] Do you think that is how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?
Ted: You just insulted someone I hate by referencing something that I love. Damn you just got even hotter
Ted: Hey.
Robin: Hey. Mary seems nice. Have you kissed her yet? Or are you waiting until you are in a serious relationship with someone else?
Barney: That's adorable Ted. You're such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that 1 out of every 8 adult women in America is a prostitute.
Marshall: Dude you just made that up.
Barney: Withdrawn.
Marshall: Lawyered!
Ted: I feel like Richard Gere.
Mary: You're not shy about your looks, are you?
Settling down is for losers and kids who never go out anymore.
Barney
Ted: So Sandy, what do you do? Oh, wait, I know what you do. You're the guy who reads the paper in the morning.
Sandy Rivers: You got me. What do you do, Ted?
Ted: Oh same thing as you. I read the paper every morning. But then after that, I finish my coffee and go to my real job as an architect, where I make an actual contribution to the world. I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific.
Sandy Rivers: Thanks. I never tire of hearing that
Ted: I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin is still pissed at me after, you know.
Barney: You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were, so you could try and nail Robin and you end up losing both girls in one night.
Ted: Yes, that's what I meant by "you know".
Lily Pad? We're having a boy!
Marshall
We're gonna need a bigger booth.
Marshall
Marshall: Wait, you actually used Jed Mosly's catchphrase?
Ted: Oh yeah ... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Marshall: [pauses] Hey, I wanted to see Avatar.
I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.
Marshall
