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Lily [talking about Mr. Druthers]: He was mean. And that's why I took away his ball.
Ted: What's the ball have to do with anything?
Lily: Druthers have to be taught he can't behave like that. When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys. The kid would be upset at first but then he'd learn to stop being mean.
Robin: Hey guys, what's going on?
Ted: Lily stole my boss's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
Robin: Why? Was he being mean?

Ted: Lily, question for you, why did I find Mr. Druthers's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose in your desk drawer?
Lily: That's easy, I took it.

Mr. Druthers: Oh my god! It's gone!
Ted: What? What's gone?
Mr. Druthers: My baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
Ted: Well, It's gotta be around here some where..
Mr. Druthers: What do you think Ted? It just let itself out of it's plastic case and rolled away? Somebody stole it!
Ted: Well, better get back to these styrofoam trees.
Mr. Druthers: Who cares about the trees? It's just busy work to make you feel like you're contributing.
Ted: Inspiring as always

Lily: Wow you weren't kidding it really does look like a giant penis.
Ted: I know, but whatever reason Mr. Druthers just doesn't see it.
Lily: How can he NOT see it? I mean there's the [points]
Ted: I know...
Lily: And the way it...
Ted: I know...
Lily: And the two little...
Ted: I know!

Ted: Give him his ball back right now! People are gonna get fired!
Lily: No, they're not! It's just a tantrum, Ted. I saw this in kindergarten all the time.
Ted: This isn't kindergarten. Mr. Druthers is an adult, and he wants his ball back!

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