How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet exhilaration of making your move. When you just put it all on the line and go for it.

Ted voiceover

Lily: I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?
Marshall: Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck, but the idea of you letting me down, that's impossible. That would be like aliens landing. That's a bad example.

Barney: Dude you are so in, a high five doesn't cut it. High Six!
Ted: She didn't see us High Six did she?
Robin: No.
Barney: Good. That was pretty lame.
Ted: Yeah, let's never do that again.

You saucy little minx, you sun dressed up.

Barney

Barney: If I had my dad's number, I'd never not be on the phone with him.
Lily: Wow, that was really...
Barney: Whoa a hottie with a body! Boing!
Lily: Brief.

Lily: Why don't you have a baby with your dad?
Marshall: OK Lilly, why don't you have a baby with your butt?
Lily: What?
Marshall: I can't think straight! Why did you have to wear that shirt?

So he gets no notice, he just walks into his boss's office and says to his boss, "I just had a grandson and I'm going to be out for three months."

Marshall

Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge open you up, take a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all down hill from here.

Barney

Mr. Eriksen: Lily, I understand you and Marshall have been fighting. Well, let me tell you what works for me and the Mrs: Some frilly French undies and a box of wine.

Ted: Gotta see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? I swear, one in five guys.

I have read eleven books on conception. I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour, but good for you for not playing with yourself.

Lily

Lily: Whoa, wait. A big package just arrived.
Marshall: Yeah it did!
Lily: No it's a real package, from your dad.
Marshall: Well that's a little weird, but yeah it is!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 23 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 1 Quotes

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.