How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother "Cleaning House" Quotes

Ted's voice over: Kids, your Uncle Barney grew up without a dad, and it always made him feel incomplete, but as he hugged Loretta surrounded by the boxed up remnants of his happy childhood, he realized he had one hell of a mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Why do white people like Carrot Top?
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Barney: Man, try to hail a cab in Manhattan, am I right? Nope, no one's stopping for this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Can't we just let the guy be black for a day?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months he couldn't possibly be Barney's father.
Robin: He's also quite the detective.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Look at us... it's like three of the same guy. Oh my god, this explains why I was always so good at basketball. Guys, I'm black, sorry African American, no I'm allowed to say both.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Ah, Valentines, the second base of third grade.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: No Santa needs protein.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Then there's the most popular parental lie in history: Santa.
Marshall: But that's a good lie. Like when we tell Ted he'll meet the right girl and settle down.
 • Rating: Unrated

James: Flip Wilson, Bill Cosby, James Earl Jones, Meadowlark Lemon? The list goes on and on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "Cleaning House?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!