Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Check it, I just drove a Pedi cab 26 blocks and I still smell incredible.

Barney

Barney says he tripped but I could have sworn he tackled me on purpose.

Ted

Sounds like you guys need to 'Clear Everything,' 'Subtract' the negativity and 'Add' some perspective.

Calculator Mascot

And firing half my department freed up the money to double my own salary, and this chick from Boston was wicked hot in bed last night, and I'm getting more muscular even though I've stopped working out, and I have this amazing poker group, and I smell incredible, just, here, seriously smell me.

Barney

If you can't spot the crazy person on the bus, it's you.

Ted

Come on, Spice Channel!

Marshall

Eriksen men are hella fertile.

Marshall

Machines are overrated and someone needs to take them down a peg.

Marshall

The bus? Every time I take the bus there is always that one crazy person that no one wants to sit near and that is why I have never taken the bus.

Barney
Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 11 in total