How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Barney: Ted, get your coat we're leaving.
Ted: What happened to the cute broad you were grinding with?
Barney: Promise not to tell anyone ever in your life? Ever? This can't be one of those stories...'funny time this one time Barney was...' none of that. Promise?
[Ted Nods]
Barney [whispers]: That was my cousin Leslie
Lily: Maybe we should start doing grown-up stuff.
Marshall: It was some pretty grown up stuff we did this morning.
Lily: Yea, but it wasn't classy
Robin: You are gonna love Kelly, she's fun, she's smart, she lives in the moment..
Barney: Translation: She's ugly, she's ugly, she ugs in the ugly.
Robin: Oh, and she's totally hot!
Ted: These strategies ever work for you?
Barney: The question is: Do these strategies ever NOT work for me? Either way the answer is about half the time
[at a really loud club...]
Ted: So, how do you know Robin?
Kelly: Sagittarius!
Ted: Is that near Westchester?
Kelly: I would love one! Just a beer!
Robin: I get recognized once and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP. I'm just a lonely little P, sitting here in the gutter.
Lily: You know something? I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day
Coat Check Girl: Because all of the stuff you're suppose to like, usually sucks. Like these clubs, or cruises.
Ted: Or New Years Eve.
Coat Check Girl: Or the Superbowl.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: The Rockettes.
Ted: Or parades.
Coat Check Girl: You said that already!
Ted: I really hate parades
Barney: "Okay" is the name of a club. It's really exclusive. A friend of mine once stood outside for two hours and didn't get in.
Ted: A friend of yours named "you?"
Barney: No, a friend of mine named "Shut up!"
Ted: What are you doing here, Lily let you go?
Marshall: Lily? Psshh, who cares, right?
Ted: You are so dead.
Marshall: Oh, I'm so dead
Coat Check Girl: Yeah, see, if everyone keeps telling you something's supposed to be fun, it's usually not.
Ted: Right. So, by that logic, if you and I were to, say, go out on a date...
Coat Check Girl: ...Well, we couldn't go anywhere that's supposed to be fun.
Ted: Right. The DMV it is.
Coat Check Girl: Then we'll get our teeth cleaned.
Ted: Sounds awful. It's a date.
The problem is you can't do any of that couples stuff unless you have someone to do it with! And the only way I'm gonna find that someone is by going out and doing stupid singles stuff with Barney! ... but, man, when I find her, we're gonna have some bad-ass wine tastings
Ted
Marshall: I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.
Claire: I'm three months pregnant.
Marshall: ... Not awkward, guys. Not awkward unless we let it be awkward
