How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 2)

Season 8 Episode 17: "The Ashtray"

Barney: Crazy stories are my thing! You have architecture, Marshall has the law, Lily has art, Robin has pleasing me sexually. You all have a passion that drives you. Well if I have a passion it's taking life and turning it into a series of crazy stories. If you can do that without me, then I don't even know who I am anymore.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: He's looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we've already discussed it. It's four million dollars cash.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren't there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 16: "Bad Crazy"

Barney: Crazy girls are crazy, because they're crazy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: You took my infant child to a strip club?
Robin: It was just topless!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Cray Cray gotta go bye bye, before you get stabbed stabbed.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 15: "P. S. I Love You"

Lily: I am so happy right now.
Marshall: I want to see her throw her life away so badly.
Ted: We're all terrible people. Turn it up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: She's John Cusack, I'm Ione Skye and there is nothing weird about that!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: There's a fine line between love and insanity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 8 Episode 14: "Ring Up"

Barney: I need you to proxy bang this girl for me. Be my stand in and put your gland in.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: My body is detoxing after years of one night stands. They don't make gum or a patch for this Ted, but hey, billion dollar idea alert.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Barney you don't start with the I got caught cheating diamond. You give yourself room to grow.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 13: "Band or DJ"

Barney: Oh no! Fluffernutter peed all over my pants!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Scherbatsky: This is Barney? This man is blonde. Grown men are not blonde.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Scherbatsky: You really should respond to my friend request. I post a lot of great stuff. You familiar with memes? There's a cat that says, "I can has cheeseburger?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili Lily!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 12: "The Final Page, Part Two"

Ted: Eight years ago I made an ass of myself chasing after you and I made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then. I have no regrets because it led me to something I wouldn't trade for the world, it led to you being my friend. So as your friend and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself. I say to you, from the heart, get the hell out of this car.
 • Rating: 3.6 / 5.0

Lily: Okay but hurry, or I'm gonna start doing number eleven on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates bitch!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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