Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Marshall: We're adorable
Lily: We're Marshmallow and Lilypadad bitch!

I refuse to be a part of a third runaway bride situation.

Ted

Marshall, Blauman saved you from a lifetime of looking at Sugar Ray every time we do it on your birthday.

Lily

The Mother: What are you doing?
Ted: Remembering this.

You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.

Ted

And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.

Ted

You take a man's wife before you take his accidental curly.

Marshall

No more books Ted. I don't like the person you become when you read books.

Barney

Ted: Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?
Marshall: That would be awesome.

Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 1449 in total