How I Met Your Mother

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Season: 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 3)

Episode 9: "Disaster Averted"

Barney: I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Marshall: You may knot, with a K. A little tie pun.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: You know what they call this in the Couv? BBQ weather!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 8: "Perfect on Paper"

Barney: Heavens to Gretzky.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Lily you just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors and a pretty decent Pinot Noir.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: When it's just not there, you can't force it.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Barney: I want American Scotch from Scotland!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Welcome to the tribe hoser!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 7: "Noretta"

Marshall: I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.
• Rating: Unrated

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nora: Forgot my raincoat.
Barney: That makes one of us.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

James: The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: We're gonna need a bigger booth.
• Rating: Unrated

Episode 6: "Mystery vs. History"

Marshall: Lily Pad? We're having a boy!
• Rating: Unrated

Ted: While this font is often mistaken for Helvetica, it's actually Helvetica Bold. I can actually hear the sound of her vagina being boarded up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Oh my god they're six minutes into the date! Ted has probably already told her that he loves her! We gotta get down there!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0