How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother

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The Drunk Train
"The Drunk Train"

Mon, February 13
Season: 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 4)

Episode 6: "Mystery vs. History"

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Mia: They had Cookies N Cream and what you were saying about women who feel they have to starve themselves makes so much sense--Hoo hot dogs! Score!
 • Rating: Unrated
Robin's Dad: Happy Birthday Son!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: Thanks Canada!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 5: "Field Trip"

Marshall: Where are we going?
Garrison Cootes: War son, we're going to war.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Barney: So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a therapist and bang your patients, that's normal, but to do it for real? Little creepy bro.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney: Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need, Sex Lessons!
Ted: Barney these are eighteen year olds!
Barney: Ted, these are eighteen year olds!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Barney: It's like watching The Breakfast Club on TBS.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 4: "The Stinson Missile Crisis"

Marshall: You know what? Screw it! Who says two bros can't rock a birthing class?
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0
Robin: What's that thing?
Barney: For some it was the ashes of my parents. For others it was the trophy from Wimbledon and believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both. Game, enormous set and match!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Marshall: What's that little guy up there?
Dr. Sonya: Oh you poor girl.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Marshall: It's fascinating how profoundly little I know about vaginas.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Patrice: He's so dreamy.
Robin: Nobody asked you Patrice!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 3: "Ducky Tie"

Lily: I am going to have to walk this earth knowing that Barney has touched my boobs.
Robin: Yeah it stays with yah. His email reminders don't help.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Lily: Terms, if you can do all that stuff that Marshall just listed off I will let you touch one boob.
Barney: Both boobs!
Lily: Just one.
Barney: Touch and squeeze.
Lily: Just touch.
Barney: Touch and motor boat.
Lily: Just touch.
Barney: Honka honka?
Lily: Barney...
Barney: Just touch
Lily: Just touch.
Barney: For one hour.
Lily: For one second.
Barney: Twenty minutes both boobs.
Lily: Thirty seconds one boob.
Barney: Four minutes, both boobs, three squeezes.
Lily: One minute, both boobs, one squeeze.
Barney: Deal!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: Show us the onion volcano, the fried rice beating heart, the shrimp in the pocket.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Barney: Hashtag burn, hashtag your tie is still dumb, hash tag refill!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Marshall: Let the dinnertainment begin!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Ted: Jeez Lily it's like you have a butt on your chest.
Barney: Whoop whoop whoop whoop!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Robin: Lily what on Earth is going on with your cans?
Lily: Oh these old thangs? I got my pregnancy boobs!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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Season: 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 7 Quotes: 103
Total How I Met Your Mother Quotes: 1208
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