Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Robin: I thought it might look cool. Of course, my colorist took "highlights" to mean I want to look like a tiger. Hence the hat.
Ted: Oh, I got to see this!
Robin: No way!
Ted: Please? I bet it doesn't look that bad. I bet it looks grrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Robin: Need a ride, cowboy?
Ted: Sorry, I don't get in vans with strangers.
Robin: Hmmm, too bad. I've got candy.
Ted: Candy!

There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not

Lily

Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway

Future Ted

Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got statutory written all over your body.

Lily: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.
Barney: Yea. Lily, you know I can't promise that

Robin: I never got to go to my prom; we always had field hockey nationals in the spring.
Barney [coughs and then waits to say]: Lesbian!
Robin: The cough was supposed to cover the lesbian.
Barney: No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate

Nerd: Hey, you ladies want something to take the edge off?
Robin: What the hell, it's prom. [takes a drink] That tastes like cough syrup!
Nerd: Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. Our fake IDs said we're only 20, and we didn't realize it until after we bought them.
Robin: Nerds who aren't good at math? Life is going to be rough boys

Scooter: You're breaking up with me?
Lily: There is so much I still want to do. I want to travel, live overseas, as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship, plus I think I was just dating you because you look a little like Kurt Cobain.
Scooter: I can change; I can look more like Kurt Cobain

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